This is helping. I wasn't sure when I first started this if it would help. I'd rather type than write so I decided to blog instead of journal. This is the only time I will let the negative flow. I've decided to let things go. Like the lady who invited +4 of us to her daughters wedding and then the day before I was told I was the only one they uninvited for budget reasons. This was something that bothered me for a long time but now I don't care anymore. I've let it go.

I need to let go of how my son's father has treated me for the last 7+ years. For example, I'm going to let go of the anger I have for him for treating me bad while I was pregnant. He didn't want a child and he made that very clear. Sometimes I would look at Birth Day and cry because he never treated special in any way. He would huff and puff is I asked him to go to the store for something. I was under a lot of stress during my pregnancy mainly because I was lonely and disappointed. Once on the way to a doctor's appointment, he was arguing with me. I'm not sure who started it but I remember thinking, this has to stop so my blood pressure will not be too high, they will make me stay for observation. I asked him to stop arguing with me but he didn't. I told him why and it still didn't help. So I'm going to take the advice of Joel Osteen and try to move the negative thoughts out of my head so that they don't destroy the positive thoughts. See I'm preparing for my family's happy future.