One of the last straws was about 5 weeks ago. He found a receipt that showed I bought cigarettes. He called me during a business meeting to argue about this. I explained I was in a meeting but he wouldn't stop arguing. So I said goodbye nicely and hung up the phone.
The very day we met, I probably smoked almost a whole pack of cigarettes in front of him. He knew I smoked. And in the beginning I smoked regularly. I stopped about three years into our relationship because we talked about it and we both were concerned about my health. I did really good only backsliding a few times. Recently, the stress has impaired my judgement. I didn't want to be at home where he was so I went out to get away. Going out means drinking and with drinking I usually want to smoke. By the way, just last week I decided that I wasn't going out anymore until this relationship is over.
After my meeting was over, I called him. He yelled at me about how he don't want a girlfriend who smokes. He said if I continued to smoke it was over. He argue and I asked that he calm down so we can talk about this. But he was fired up, he didn't want to talk calmly. He argue with rehearsed words. The one statement that got me was, "I think you would have said anything to get me to be your boyfriend." Before that he said that he told me he wouldn't be my boyfriend unless I stop smoking and I said OK. Why in the hell would I agree to those terms! I reminded him that I was smoking with your friends in front of you. See he didn't introduce me to his friend until he accepted me as his girlfriend. We dated for about 7 months before he made the decision. When I reminded him he couldn't do anything but agree.
"I think you would have said anything to get me to be your boyfriend". That statement is very powerful. I was never desperate for him to be my boyfriend. I never pushed the subject either. I express concern because when he was with me he acted like a boyfriend but expressed to everyone else, I was nothing special. If he mentioned me at all. Funny thing, now he wants to count that time in how long we've been together. The time when I was nothing special, he want to include in the time we've been "together".