Monday, June 23, 2008

So long, too long

I was just thinking about how about two and 1/2 years of knowing him, I was already sad and unhappy. I was hurt that he never made me feel special. Crying as I listened to...

Thank you - Dido - - Dido

I thought how he never gave me the best day of my life or anything close to, and that he never will. I was sure of it and I was right.

Why did I stay if it was so bad? Sometimes I think it was the sexual connection. At that time we had sex just about everyday. After sex, it felt right. If felt like love. I was young and naive and let the feeling I got from him during sex mean more than it should have.

Funny, he tried to touch me yesterday. I wasn't grossed out yet I wasn't a bit interested. The last time we had sex it like... somewhat like this quote from the color purple - "He does his business on top of me." This is a quote that Celie wrote in her journal. This shows that having sex wasn't to deal with love or even passion it was just Albert doing what he had to do. Celie had been raped as a young girl by her stepfather so she got the impression that men were do that and a women was to just take it whether she wanted to or not.

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