Monday, August 4, 2008

Thanks for the sex...

So where have I been? I decided not to post for a few days. This whole thing that happened, three times now, with my son's father is confusing.

I still have ill fillings toward him. He still hasn't asked that we work it out or even give the hint that he wants to work it out. He's like, thanks for the sex, and that's it. I'm think this is a mistake but I'm not sure. So I'm going to write him a letter and see how he responds. I'm going to tell him that there is no way in the world I'm going to make the attempt all alone. If he wants me he needs to say it and if he don't he needs to say it. I can live with him and co-parent for a limited time as long as it's officially over. No sex and no animosity. He can come and go as he pleases and so can I as long as our son is taken care of.

I'm open to whatever he decides but it's how serious he is about the decision he makes that will determine if I'm cool with it. But right now, I'm still sure it’s not much hopes for us. It's going to take a lot to take the hurt and pain away. I don't believe he has it in him to make the effort.

I'm going to write the letter tonight and try to work up the courage to give it to him right away. I'm nervous because I think I might be setting myself up for the type of disappointment and hurt I’ve experienced many times before.

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